Can You Say Forever Alone?

Okay, so I know that A LOT of people lately have been saying how they're so 'forever alone' but honestly, half of them aren't. They've had boyfriend's the past week and they just broke up with them. It's not fair. Some of us really aren't ever going to get boyfriends. I really don't think I ever will. And I know that I could be an amazing girlfriend but nobody will give me a chance. And it's not fair. I really want a boyfriend. I'm around people who have boyfriends all the time. I live with my mom and her fiancee. And my sister's boyfriend is over all the time, I'm just a computer-loving, blog-writing, always-hungry ugly freak. But it's cool, you know? I love Jersey Shore, youtube, babies and food. BAIIIII.

Quote Of the Post: I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN - Jeydon Whale (; lmfao. I LOVE THIS ONEEEEE.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

Inspired By Sabrina.

Okay, so this would be Sabrina Vaz. If you go to her youtube channel, youtube.com/sabrinavaz1 you would be able to see the suckiest singer ever. And she inspired me. I know that's mean, but it's true. Sabrina isn't that good of a singer, but she tries. And I admire that. She does good videos and she tries to sing. But downfalls of her, is that she's a slut and she gives people ear cancer. But like I said, she tries hard. I plan to do the same thing as her. Except it's not going to be my voice. I'm going to take the original song and just make a cover video to it with the song in the background! So I've already picked out some songs I'm doing it with:
Good Time - Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen
Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
Starships - Nicki Minaj
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift
So, yeah. Love you's for now I guess. BAIIIII.

Quote Of the Post: Even bad people can have good intentions.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

Thank You So Much.

You know how I like to preach Stay Strong and shit? Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. It's sooo hard to stay strong into today's society. I constantly have somebody breathing down my neck. Whether it's my family or my friends or people I hate, it's everybody. I can't take it anymore. I've recently think about, the world would be a better place without me. I have to much will power to actually end my life or self-harm, but life is hard. It's not all range rovers and Gucci sunglasses and grande frappuchino's from Starbucks. It's real life and real life is scary and unwelcoming. Like New York City on black Friday. I don't like sounding emo but I'm actually not, but I hate that everybody thinks the second I'm not outgoing or quiet or something, that something's wrong. I know that it's irrevelant and it probably doesn't make sense but yeah. I wouldn't end my life or self-harm because when I have a problem or I want to say something I just write it on this blog. You guys have been my saviors. And don't think I haven't noticed. I used to think I was just writing to myself in my bedroom when I actually wanted to write. But I know you people are out there reading. And besides, I get at least over 50 pageviews per day and that may not seem like a lot to you. But I'm a 13 year old living in New York with a semi-hard/middle class/okay/pretty good life with to much freetime, a lot of hate, and a laptop. Basically, I want to say thank you. Thank you so much. I have other people to thank too, but almost 80% of my happiness I have for this blog. And I take out all my anger on people on this blog. It's an anonymous blog for me that nobody knows I write and I like it like that. It's fun. My advice to anybody who has something to say but doesn't want to say it to that person or something, start an anonymous blog. ANYWHERE. Even if you don't have a computer, there are libraries. Use your phone. Use your friends phones. Use your friends computers. Or even a diary. Diaries don't work because I don't like to write down all of my personal thoughts in them because I get tired of it. And I have no motivation. I know that nobody see's it so if I don't write in it, who cares? But I feel like I'm abandoning a family if I don't write on here. This is really long but I can't thank you guys enough for being so perfect and loving me for me and not judging me and just boosting my confidence. And even though you don't know me, I know you guys. Guess what I did 2 nights ago? So when I got this phone that I've had for a while, everybody wanted to put their number in my phone. So I let them. So all these popular people that I don't even talk to are in my phone and I know that some of them are going through a hard time or stuff and I just sent each of them a text saying, 'stay strong', 'you are beautiful'. And it's not creepy because it's not like I'm saying, 'I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU RIGHT NOW GIVE IT TO ME BABYYYY, I LOVE YOUR NEW CURTAINS/FURNITURE I'M SITTING OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW'. See? No. Anyway, just be nice bitches. Like, in school the other day, this kid didn't have enough money to pay for everything he wanted in lunch, so I gave him the money needed and I said he didn't need to pay me back. That's being nice, I hope he pays it forward. But anyway, I don't even know. I could ramble on for hours and hours but I won't. I LOVE YOU GUYS. Goodbye (;

Quote Of The Post: I don't know, I love you guys.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

Please Follow Me

Alright my little bitch minions. Now that I know you're out there and I have new-found respect for my blog, but listen people. In order to keep my blog going with the same happiness that I have for it now, I want people to follow me. Now you guys know that I don't like being a beggar and all that shit, but come on dudes. It's not fair! I have thought about this a lot and I've also written a post on it before. Bottom line, follow me you fucking asshole bitches.

Quote Of the Post: I love you, WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

Hey ugly biotches. Just kidding, I love joooo face yooo! Anyway, I just wanted to make this post for you guys saying a couple things:

1. I'm leaving you.
2. I lied to you. 
3. I'm getting a new phone! 

So about the leaving you part, my cousin wants me to go hang out with her for 2 days so I agree'd. Kill me. I definitely don't want to, but she likes to bug me at least once every month to hang out. But I love her. Anyway, I say anyway alot, don't I? ANYWHOOOO, see what I did there (; ANYWAY, I am really sorry loves but chyeahh! I'll probably blog at night when she's sleeping because we all know since I'm an insomniac, I can outstayawake anybody. Unless I'm in living enviorment. than all bets are off. Now, about the lying to you part! Remember my bucket list's posts? Yeah...not happening. I did one post and it was fun but I'm finished babes. Not chyennymore. But it was fun while it lasted...
thats what she said (;
And now, I'M GETTING A NEW PHONE!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited you have no fucking idea. This is the phone I'm going to get: 
http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/store/controller?item=phoneFirst&action=viewPhoneDetail&selectedPhoneId=5956
I'm so excited (: Just click on the link. But now I no longer need my crappy pre paid phone with no microphone. But my mamacitaaa doesn't want to pay for the whole internet charges or whatever. But she will in the long run, she's my mom & she'd do it (; Okay, so..now. I'll see you guys later. Anyway, I'm going to finish watching Law & Order with mahh sister holmie gee's. See you later babes (;

Quote Of the Post: NEW PHONES RULE DICK. pshhh. okay bye.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop!

Xoxo, Gossip Girl.

Okay, so my recent obsession is this new show Gossip Girl. Well, it's new to me. Anyway, this show has a cast of Leighton Meester, Blake Lively, Penn Badgley, Taylor Momsen, Chace Crawford, and some other less unimportant people that I can't remember the names of. But you know what I think? I think that my blog is kind of like the Gossip Girl blog. Hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's explain, I guess. Anyway, if you don't know what Gossip Girl is—than you've so obviously been living under a rock—but it is a show about Manhatten's most elite members. And narrating all the juicy gossip is none other than Gossip Girl, and the voice would be Kristen Bell—the one running the blog. But I find that this blog is kind of like Gossip Girl because in this blog, I write my deepest darkest secrets and talk about whoever. Because well, when you're anonymous, you can. I could say anything from Felicia Cangin is a slut to Shane Kroll is a player/man-whore. You might not know these people, but let me reassure you, I do. And I intend on telling every detail on what I think about these people, what's going on my life & everything in between. And I trust me, I have only told you the honest truth. But back to Gossip Girl, my sister has just recently gotten a Netflix account so she gave me her email & password and now I jack it and I'm trying to watch all 5 seasons of Gossip Girl before the 6th one starts. It starts on October 8th, 8 p.m. for East Coasters, 7 p.m. for West Coasters. And for New Yorkers, the channel is 11. It's the CW channel, same as Supernatural, Nikita and The Vampire Diaries. It come's on only on Mondays. So you better watch, biotch! Yeah mother fucker, I rhymed. Anyway, time for me to get back to the glamorous life of squeezing in only about a million episodes of gossip girl in only 3 weeks, so you let me get back to my Gossip and I'll let you get back to...um, what were you doing again? Jerking off? Envying me because I thought of the anonymous blog idea before you did? Wishing you had the amazing life I did? Well, hunny, it's all fun and games, and, you're kind of not invited.

Quote Of The Post: ...And, you're kind of not invited. ~Blair Waldorf. Season 1, Episode 1, Part 1. 

XOXO, Gossip Girl.
Oops, I mean XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

Bucket List: Post #1

Okay. So today I'm going to start a new series: Bucket List. You guys most likely know that over the summer I tried doing a bucket list and it didn't work out so well because I did almost nothing besides sneak into r-rated movies with my best friend. But I am creating a life bucket list. So, anyway. This bucket list is going to be well...a bucket list. A bucket list, if you don't already know, is just a list of stuff you want to do before you die. So anyway, today is Monday and so every night this week, I am going to create a couple of things for my bucket list and than at the end of the week, I will try doing at least 5 of those things on my bucket list. And btdubs, I'm stealing stuff from everywhere. So, let's begin:

1. buy a bus ticket to nowhere
2. publish a book
3. tape myself while skydiving
4. spend an entire day kissing somebody incredibly hot
5. paint fight
6. watch every 90's movie ever made
7. pay for every person's meal at a restaurant
8. close my eyes, stick a pin anywhere on the map and travel to that location
9. tell everybody im sorry.
10. take a nap in a bed that's on display in a store
11. start a flash mob
12. sundrop everywhere for a day
13. reinvent myself
14. carve my name in a tree
15. take a road trip with my best friends
16. get 4 tattoo's: stay strong, love is louder than the pressure to be perfect, kiss lipstick, RIP Nikki Marie Morra 4-11-98 - 4-20-12 (my cousin)
17. eat an entire jar of nutella
18. fill out a job application at every place in new york city
19. watch every harry potter movie ever made 
20. go to a drive in movie
21. get a belly button ring
22. get a nose ring
23. star in a movie
24. make sure at least 10 people know that they are worth life & everything that is possibly amazing.
25. decorate a house.
26. go on a yacht and do the jack/rose thing with somebody
27. buy something from starbucks and love it
28. meet demi lovato, show her my tattoo's and tell her she saved my life.
29. be taylor swift's best friend for a day
30. attend a 'certain' baseball game

So that's going to be all for tonight. I think it's pretty good so far (; Alright homedawgie dawgs. I'm outie 5,000. Catch ya' on the flip side, yo!

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

P.S. Yes I do realize that I have physcological issues and I should probably get help and that my weirdness would be more easily accepted if I was mentally challenged.

Before You Get All Pissy With Me + Halloween Costume Ideas!

Okay. So it's obviously a known fact that I have not posted for kind of a while. A.k.a., 4 days. But anyway, I have a pretty good reason. I'm fucking sick. Like cold sick. Yay, go me, fucking sick. Bad headache, runny nose, everything hurts :( So, it's not really my fault that I'm sick so hop off my dick and get the fuck over it. Second, as you can tell  by the Ariana Grande picture in this post as well and the title above, you probably noticed that I kind sort maybe really might want to be her for halloween. I also might try Demi Lovato or Selena Gomez, but you don't really have to do anything for them. Ariana Grande, you get to dress up and dye your hair or wear a wig, unless you already have that color hair. I don't know, it's just seems really fun. I'm still deciding. But, yeah. Anyway, my friends and I are planning to go trick-or-treating with each other, or somebody should have a halloween costume party. But we all want to go as some kind of a slut. And I'm not saying that Ariana Grande is a slut, but look at how short that dress is. It's pretty slutty. So, one of my friends is going to go as a little slutty playboy bunny and another might go as a bikini model stripper. And than I might go as Ariana Grande in a really short dress. But for now, I'm just sick, laying in bed. Whoop-dee-do. Alright homedawgiedogs, I'm peacing out for today. Love love, see you in the a.m. Maybe.

Quote Of The Posts: Slutty is only okay on Halloween.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.

P.S. Thinking about changing the name to 'The Bitch Behind The Laptop'. Because let's face it, I'm kind of a bitch in every post anyway.

I Think It's Love...

I know I'm 13. But honestly, I do not give a fuck. I fucking feel like I'm in love. You have no idea. Have you ever thought about somebody so much it hurts? And you just want to be with them every second of the day? Have you ever wanted them so bad that you couldn't function without seeing that person? It's so amazingly amazing just to hear their voice of see their face. I can't help it. I had a sort of summer thing with this guy and it was....magical? I just...I honestly feel like I'm in love. I haven't been able to get him off of my mind for the longest time and he's one of the 'cool' guys at school so it's not like I could just walk up to him and be like, "I'm in love with you." It just hurts so bad because I don't just love him, I'm in love with him.  But when you're in love, you're supposed to want to do anything just to be with that person, but I'm not at my level of confidence where I can do that yet. Why is everything so fucking complicated ?! :( Whatever. I'm going to sleep now considering it's 2 a.m. Bye. 

Quote Of The Post: Love hurts. Deal with it. 

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop. 

Confidence.

Okay. Today is a little lesson on confidence. It's 1:37 a.m. and frankly, I do not give a fucking damn. Bitches need to here this shit. Actually, it's the truth, not shit. Okay, in today's society we have a lot of pressure on us. It's not just like, "Oooo, you need to be perfect or you're not cool." No, it's not enough to those people. Society digs down deep to your core and finds your weaknesses and uses that against you. It's not enough that we are trying to live up to the expectations are parents put on us, and than we see all these girls in magazines and on t.v. and in movies. I know that wherever I go there's at least, a million items saying stuff like, "Look whose modeling." or "New star has a hot bod!" But than we have all of the regular people in our lives. I know that even in my own house, I get jealous of my sister because she is incredibly gorgeous and I'm incredibly not. Or at least most of the time I feel like I'm not. But there's just a lot of people and things around us that makes us feel not beautiful and it sucks. It really and truly does suck.
But first off, I think to feel beautiful, you have to look beautiful. I know that when I definitely feel beautiful, I hold myself up with confidence and I feel gorgeous. When you have confidence, you are pretty. I know that it's hard to get confidence but I've heard that apparently when you get it, it's hard to go back to hating yourself. I am not trying to sit here and tell you how to feel good about yourself. I'm telling you that you are not alone in not feeling beautiful. And I also can't say that I think everybody is beautiful, because I truly don't feel that way. And it's means, but it's true. I do not truly think that everybody is pretty, or nice, or cute, or funny. It's a fact of life. But does that mean we should let it get in our way of living? Fuck no. So, I guess sometimes we have to just say fuck it and leave the house in sweats, a bun and no makeup, because that's life and that's what the fuck is going to happen sometimes. But nobody has any idea how badly I want everybody to feel beautiful and to feel free. I think just because I may not think you are gorgeous, you should feel gorgeous. Because I don't know, I'm just going to contradict myself here. You are beautiful. Everybody is beautiful. Whatever. Contradictions fucking rock. Alright biotches, I lubbedd you. :p Bye young homies.

Quote Of The Post: Fuck everybody, because nobody's as important as you and your fabulous ass.

XO, The Girl Behind The Laptop.